Remember Me

Holidays have become progressively harder to coordinate since moving to Georgia in 2007.  I have embraced the change, but I would be lying if I said it has been an easy transition.  As the phone gets passed around the table in New Jersey, I find myself fighting back tears between sentiments of affection from my loved ones.  This year will mark my fourth Thanksgiving away from home and I am excited to be spending the day with Joseph's extended family.

Tonight I watched the movie Remember Me, a romantic drama centered on two new lovers: Tyler, whose parents have split in the wake of his brother's suicide, and Ally, who lives each day to the fullest since witnessing her mother's murder (IMDB).  It was a really moving film, and I found myself reflecting on my own family as I took in the story.  I realized that no matter what hardships you may face, what losses you may suffer, family must always be your priority.  Even if you cannot physically be there, you must make an effort to be ever present in each other's lives.


This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my family who, no matter how far I may be from the dinner table, always remembers me.

Hands.

Atlanta, July 2011

A Day Full of Grandpa

"The ones that love us never really leave us."

Out of death comes something beautiful, and on January 30, 2007, Saverio Plotino became a cardinal.

When I think of a "family man," my mind automatically goes to Grandpa. Together, Grandpa and Grandma - the love of his life - had four children: my father and my three aunts. Each received a piece of what made Grandpa so special. Zia Ann received Grandpa's determination and strength. Dad received Grandpa's stature and attention to detail. Aunt Ida received Grandpa's love for laughter, fun, and family. Zia Fran received Grandpa's generosity and good will.

But most of all, when I think of Grandpa, I think of his devotion to his grandchildren - Paul, Stephanie, Anthony, and me. He took care of us; attended recitals, plays, parades, graduations; picked us up from school when we were sick; praised us for our good grades; showed us nothing but love day in and day out. It doesn't surprise me one bit that Grandpa shows himself to us from time to time, especially around times of immense joy.

Lately I have been feeling like a part of me was missing and I couldn't figure out what it was. My finals are nearly complete, my family is coming down from NJ to celebrate my pending graduation next week, I have ESP Summer Camp to look forward to and a full-time job in the fall...and yet it wasn't enough. Until today.

When I left the house this morning to head to work, Grandpa was sitting right next to my car, his blazing crimson feathers even more intense in the morning light. When I got closer to my car, he began flying all around me - up in the trees, back down onto the gravel, over to the mailbox, into the bushes, onto the porch, and finally into some shrubs. I had goosebumps all the way to work! Then, when I turned into the ESP parking lot, there he was again! When I went to run errands with Laura, again he flew past my car! Later on at the store I turned around and there was a picture of a cardinal! He was everywhere and I could feel him. I felt complete.

I stood a little taller today. I breathed a little deeper. I smiled more genuinely.

Today, I felt very loved.

Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Flashback: Tuesday morning, September 11. Mrs. Palumbo's 7th grade science class. Principal Ross's scratchy, smoker-esque voice over the loudspeaker. Instant fear.

Is he okay?

Flashback: Tuesday after school. The phone keeps ringing but it's never the voice we want to hear. How is it that they are able to reach us?

Why hasn't he called?

Flashback: Shivering in the warm September afternoon. Neighbors knocking on the door, ringing our bell. Mom is getting frustrated and I sit. And I wait.

Where is he?

Flashback: Sitting in the middle of the driveway, hoping so much for him to just get home. The low, familiar rumble of his red Toyota Tacoma. He's home. He's finally, finally home.

And I lose it.



As Dad told us stories of the scared men and women trying to jump into the bed of his pickup truck to cross the George Washington Bridge into New Jersey, I could only hug him tighter for being so brave.

As he talked about the billowing clouds of debris and smoke, the bloodied faces and the dust-covered businesspeople, I wept because he was protected.

As we watched hours and hours of news coverage I wept because, unlike so many, I was fortunate to have my Daddy safely at home.



I will never forget September 11, 2011, or the fear I felt at the idea of losing my dad. Even now, almost 10 years later, just the thought of that dreadful day brings tears to my eyes.

And yet the news of Osama bin Laden's death does not make me happy. It doesn't make up for anything that happened on September 11.

It doesn't bring back the father of the little boy and girl in my sister's summer camp unit that she grew to know and love.

It doesn't bring back the Port Authority Police officers, my Mom's students, who she will never see again because they bravely responded to the 9-1-1 calls during her class.

It doesn't change the fact that there are hundreds, and maybe even thousands, of bin Laden's minions who are willing to carry out any future plan of attack that may have been planned before his death. [That is, if you really believe it was Al Qaeda who spurned the attacks ;) ]

You won't see any celebratory statuses on my Facebook or Twitter accounts; you won't see me posting patriotic (or, quite frankly, disturbing) videos or pictures with my friends - NOT because I am not proud to be an American, but because it is not over yet.

Call me jaded; call me cynical; call me whatever you like. But I will continue to call myself practical because I will not let the false hope of retaliation blind me from the truth of what's really out there. I am not ungrateful for the US troops who fight day in and day out for our protection and freedom, but I refuse to celebrate death.


In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

I am a Vagina Warrior!

I am a Vagina Warrior because no man, woman, or child should ever be abused.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I knew someone who was murdered by her husband, leaving her children motherless.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I have seen the bumps, bruises, and scars.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I know the facts.

I am a Vagina Warrior because women between the ages of 20-24 are at the highest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

I am a Vagina Warrior because 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I refuse to be a statistic.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I choose to be a voice for those silenced by their abusers.

I am a Vagina Warrior because many victims come from low-income households.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I refuse to sit back while victims of domestic violence are refused housing, child care, and employment.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I have seen the injustice.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I have witnessed the good works of organizations like Women Aware, Inc. and Project Safe.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I know what it means to be loved.

I am a Vagina Warrior because I am a woman.


Be a Vagina Warrior.  Support V-Day.

No Day but Today

Now that I'm about to graduate, I wish I had studied other things.

And it's really quite frustrating because I have enjoyed my International Affairs major.  There are 5 main focuses within the IA field - International Relations, Comparative Politics, Community, Security, and Political Economy.  I chose to focus in Comparative Politics and Community, as topics such as human rights and genocide fascinated me.

I knew coming into college that I was going to study IA because I wanted to work for an international non-profit organization, or an NGO (non-governmental organization), such as the Clinton Foundation, because I was going to save the world!  Little did I know at that time that there is still so much work to be done in the United States.  In 2009, approximately 43.6 million Americans were living below the poverty line.  That is nearly 15% of the population.

According to National Association of State Boards of Education, when the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) was created in 1975, the legislation included the goal that 40 percent of the extra costs of the inclusion of special needs children into regular classrooms would be covered by the Federal government.  However, according to the 2002 budget, the government has only provided 18 percent of the extra costs for special education and it has been up to the states and local governments to foot the rest of the bill.

Did you know?  One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. -- An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. -- An overwhelming 85% of domestic violence victims are women. -- Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew. -- Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence. -- Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

I decided to join AmeriCorps after learning the harsh realities of these domestic issues.  So, now that I have an idea of what I want to do with my life - nearly 4 years after starting college - I'm starting to have regrets.  I say regrets in the sense that I wish I could have known what I know now so that I could have studied other things; things that revolved around these pertinent issues in the areas I wish to build my non-profit career.

I know it's not worth fretting about.  I know that some people don't even go into a field related to their major. It's still a very scary thing, though.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow means more life experiences, a heightened skill set, and a deeper sense of self.

In the words of one of my favorite productions, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”